you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
