she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
