why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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