No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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