The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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