Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
