No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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