hotel room ftw
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
