No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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