I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
