Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
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Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
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I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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