The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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