these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
