Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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