since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
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Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
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Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize