I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
