Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
