i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
