Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize
