i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
