It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
