Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
