Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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