don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
