i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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