If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
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