Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?

(602): View more from Arizona

no jk, not my room

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(303): View more from Colorado

She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.

(518): View more from New York

So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial

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(336): View more from North Carolina

He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2

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(248): View more from Michigan

So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?

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(218): View more from Minnesota

So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.

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