what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Success! We fucked roommates!
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