If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
