All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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