if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I would ride that face into the sunset
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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