Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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