I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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