I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
