Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
