He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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