I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
