It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
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At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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