I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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