Do you still have your period?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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