oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
