what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Never underestimate the power of titties
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
