she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
