she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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