My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
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