the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize