You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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