if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
