i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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