The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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