that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
