You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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