I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
