No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
