I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
