I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he shaved USA in his pubs
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Panties = found
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize