He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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