I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
